In barlight, she looked alright In daylight, she looked desperate

I have 12 blogs in my Google Reader that begin  with the word “Life”.

The pseudo-hubby’s computer & I are not compatible (have I mentioned I cannot wait to get my new computer?) . I can’t write worth a damn on his keyboard (certain keys used for gaming tend to stick and hold in place), ridiculous settings tell me I can’t do or look at things I normally would and the mouse occasionally spazzes on me, forcing me to go places I didn’t mean to go.

For instance, when I’m at my Blogger Reader page, I will intend to click on Life in a Quad ,but instead I will be taken to life of a bird or life of cinemetic moments (but hey,if I hadn’t gone to the actual blog I would have never known that they both have Twitter and you know I needed more people to follow there…) . Sometimes even Lis gets some clicks

I’m momentarily confused because, not only are none of those blogs the chronicles of a polyfidelitous quad, but because THE picture is gone.

Oh, why’s they take that marvelous picture off! I love that picture…

and then I realize I’m just at the wrong place.

This is the picture I’m talking about.

I adore this and had to share it with all of you too.

Now that I’m done rambling on about NOTHING (sort of like Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages…) , I’m going to try to accomplish something today. Even if it’s just finding my currently MIA camera…

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RECENT MEDIA

Toy Box Reviews Well, specifically Adult Toy boxes. After the incident involving my 3 year old ,handcuffs & a tube of lube,it’s probably not a bad idea.

Death Proof Hottest. Lapdance. Ever. The girl that plays uhhh…one of the chicks in the car (yeah, that’s helpful), should play Agent 355 in the Y: The Last Man movie, if there ever is one. *crosses fingers*

I liked Planet Terror better.

Skippyjon Jones The current favorite book(s) of the youngest offspring (should I start calling him Pluto?) , Skippyjon the kitty-boy reminds me very much of my own little monster-boy.Skippyjon is a mischievious Siamese Cat who thinks he’s a Chihuahua and when in Chihuahua-mode, he speaks in this cute leetle Spanish accent, with real , commonplace Spanish words sprinkled into the text with many made-up words ending in “-ito”. (Carlos: “Wait, is this embracing hispanic heritage or offending it?”) and hangs out with his friends,Los Chimichangas.The books are fun to read …and relate-able.

An array of music coming from my son’s room (there is no link possible to represent his music collection )  , as he tries to chose ONLY 10 CDs to take with him as he backpacks to and through the Southern US.

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[blog title from "Sequestered in Memphis" by The Hold Steady....cuz that's what's playing right this very second]

What Ive got youve got to give it to your mamma What Ive got youve got to give it to your pappa

I love when people give stuff away on their blogs/websites.

Today, Dewey is giving away a box of scary books.

There’s a bunch of great giveaways at Root and Sprout

A while ago, Stilletto Diaries  was giving away Wet Warming Lube (Strawberry flavored/scented) and guess who won it? That’s right…it was me. i won.Oh,yeah.

I look at giveaways as an opportunity to make everyone in our house happy

(we tried the lube out this morning and I second the thumbs up review…)

The wonderful Shasta also threw in some nice goodies w/ my lube but I think The Man cringed a bit when I took the chocolate penis in my mouth and didn’t even waste time teasing or sucking on it – just bit down hard.

Please note: I would never actually bite a non-chocolate penis with such ferocity. I just like chocolate a lot and got a bit excited.

Also, I do not expect penis-shaped chocolates if I were to win book or kid stuff giveaways. That might actually weird me out a little.

[title from "Give it Away", Red Hot Chili Peppers ]

Well, I’ve got a secret too. I’m not 20 years old, I’m really 32 I only have one leg and I like to sniff glue

[title from: "Internet Relationships" by MC Lars]

Life is busy.Real life. I always kind of laugh at the expression “online life”. Is that really possible?

Nevertheless, my time online is limited these days and there is one huge stressor in my So-Called Online Life.That would be my Google Reader.

Every morning,they sit there – this huge list of blogs I subscribed to. I thought I was being all organized and shit when I made little sub-categories in my Reader to make the list seem a bit more streamlined

Craft Blogs

Art Blogs

Comic Blogs

Mommy Blogs

Sex Blogs

Eco/Sustainable Living Blogs

Food Blogs

Regular Blogs I just Like

Group Blogs (politics,domesticity,feminism,activism…other ‘isms”)

Oddly, it doesn’t make them any easier to read. It’s like doing laundry.Just because you sort and fold all the laundry and put them neatly into little piles according to what they are (shirts in one pile,pants in another, so on and so forth..) , it doesn’t mean they get put away where they belong any faster.

Clearly, the solution is to purge the list. When your underwear drawer starts overflowing, you get rid of the ones that are holey, period-stained and no longer pass as sexy since your ass just eats them panties. Same idea.

Does one use a hatchet or a scalpel for that sort of thing? How about an axe.

This morning I started carving away at the list.I used the following criteria for deletion:

♦Blogs who remind me way too much of Elizabeth Gilbert .Not that they’re on some sort of spiritual quest – just that they’re self-absorbed and think they are way more special than they really are. We get it – you’re pretty,smart,funny and have a great girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/lover/dog/sex toy collection and we should all not only like you,but want to be you. Only I don’t. Now, you’re just going to say,”Oh,you’re just jealous!”, but I’m really not. It’s more like nausea I’m experiencing,

♦Train wrecks that are past their expiration date.They were pretty interesting at first when it was a lot of twisted metal and horrific cries for help  but the rescue crew never showed up so now there’s just a lot of really bloated and overripe corpses laying around rotting . It stinks and no one wants to be anywhere near it.

♦ Blogs that read too much like fiction because they probably are

♦Book blogs that consider Jodi Picoult their favorite author. I respect people’s affinity for certain authors they latch on to but the “Ripped from Newsweek and Dateline NBC” style of generated fiction is not for me. If I subscribe to a book blog, it’s because a reader has similar tastes in brain candy. Life is too short to read books I don’t like and it definitely too short to read reviews of books I probably won’t like,either.

♦Blogs written by people who are striving to be Margaret Cho but instead  sound a lot more like Caroline Rhea

♦Bloggers who really need to read Maria’s Blogging 101, Commenting 101 , & Basic Etiquette 101

♦ the “frugal” ,”simplification” and “eco-friendly” blogs who are looking to be some sort of Green Martyr. I know…you’re new at this and looking for a pat on the head but the “Look how much comfort and pleasure I’m sacrificing for the sake of the environment!”  mantra  does nothing for me. You are totally missing the point.

♦Bloggers who write way too many posts in which they load their brats into their SUV,drive to Wal-mart for “great deals!” and stop at the McDonald’s drive-thru on the way home. Ew.

♦Child-Free By Choice  people who hate “me”   because I’m a Breeder. I respect your choice to not have spawn. Please reciprocate and respect my choice to replicate on a whim.

♦Snark snark snark blah blah blah

♦Bloggers that lean waaaay too far to either the right or the left that they may as well just lay down already.

♦Blogs that I stumbled upon randomly and upon reading their latest post, deemed them my Blogging Soul Mate. Since then, the common thread has unraveled.

All long-time (relatively speaking)  bloggy friends and artsy/crafty blogs survived the cut.

But guess what? I have very few blogs subscribed to in my Google Reader now. How ever shall I have an online life now??

If you know of a blog that you consider a worthwhile MUST READ that you think I would also love, tell it to me. Some bitch came in and hacked my poor Reader list to death.